kill your pride, turn your fear to a weapon

Not doin' well. Had to unpack a deliberately reinforced line of embroidery, ended up jabbing the seam ripper through the fabric tree times. Now I have to reinforce the remaining threads, mend the new holes, and probably track down a smallish patch of some sort to cover it all.GAH.

So.

Channels keeping me sane:

BigGaming64 (If One Topic at a Time didn't exist, he'd be THE most wholesome YouTuber.)

fastpassfacts (All animatronic history, all the time.)

WhyJordie
(All mechaniphobia content, all the time.)

HordesofHorror (Horror reviews, both film and books, much like SpookyAstronauts.)

KingKey (Supportive drag king moments.)

And one bonus single vid, P.M Seymour reading a Tumblr post on bees (Every point you need to defeat vegan arguments about honey.)

did you just say you're finished? didn't know we started

So...hey...

I still haven't fixed the blog, beginning to despair of that happening before 2027...and I might have enough images formatted and linkable from the "Lillith's Thorns" Medici Collar shoot; and I am going to review what I can long-distance, but...that will be the last with shots of me. (Though, won't lie, tempted to see if I can inveigle Justine and/or Lucifer as models. Haven't asked yet, it's just idle pondering for the moment.)

Why? Well, because my comp's power supply toasted. Rotten timing. We're trying to see if we have enough to get one this month; if we don't, it may mean February--or longer--



AND I AM ALREADY LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND--

But it's okay. I will get through this.It is going to be mental updating every thing from my phone, though.
Oh, and for all the (non-American) friends who've asked:



All caught up? Fab. Because 2026 is shaping up to be a razorblade rollercoaster of psychopathy!



Indeed.

I'm in the ruins too, I know the wreckage so well (part one)

Okay.

Okay. Okay okay okay.

This needs to get done and the past two months in tailspin DO NOT COUNT. Okay? Okay.

I'm saying that a lot.

This also may run for more than two entries.



Also, I want to put a pin in this one to revisit later, because I forgot I tinted a pair orange and then took a bunch of shots in blue latex. Keep this on the back burner for now.

Also this one (from the same set in blue):



I know the image quality is bad, but just--put a pin in this for later, too? Because I did find a problem on the horns! (It's me. The problem is me. Not even kidding, because I fractured another mesh item from an entirely different maker in the same way yesterday.)

So. The first set was the blue and gold, and I took a bunch, and then--forgot where I put them? So next up was a few days later, and the image below is straight out of the box:



No modding, as-is standard (non-PBR; there are both PBR and non-PBR textured versions in the package), just picked one and hit add.

And then....things get a little...vague? I have about twelve pictures, in assorted outfits uploaded to my image host, and maybe six different half-completed entries? But I know I took a few shots while shopping at Moss and Luna:



...and I think that's either the PBR version (maybe?? PBR is strange for me, it works, but it's always weirdly highlighted in a pale, milky-blue shine??), or I've done something weird to them. Because of course I would.

So then I went through the pics I'd uploaded two months back. Like this one:



--which shows the HUD for the set. (And yes, there are two versions, the PBR HUD, and the standard HUD.) Near as I can tell, this is also straight out of the box, very little if any adjusting.

I'll go into some features in part two, which I'm hoping to get out tomorrow? In the meantime, I kept feeling like I needed to retake pictures, or take more pictures, or find the...I suppose "perfect" background...I don't know.



Maybe it makes no sense. And I wanted to say more. There's more pictures. Void stars, I have more than enough frames. This run of--unfortunately, only three--I only caught the mistake in post-processing--I thought I'd moved the horns back enough to not protrude, but instead, I gave myself a second set of eyebrows.

Anyway. There's more. Also, watching Pontypool while trying to figure out what to say to type this? Maybe not my best choice.

((Insert from the Editrix: I'm going to go post this as the first entry in coverage of, but the entry I'm going to post after was actually written weeks ago, and I just want to get SOMETHING out today because kicking myself in the back for the last two, possibly two-plus months, is starting to leave a dent.))



((Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.))

((Oh, and you can still find them on the back wall at Vae Victis' main store. Set you back by L$500, still, I believe, which again, is a reasonable amount for horns this adaptable. Ta!))

I'm in the ruins too, I know the wreckage so well (part two)

((The aforementioned entry from before yesterday's. Probably going to cover some of the same ground. All right, carry on.))

[[HOOOOOLLLD EVERYTHING! This was one of the drafts I put together back in...August?? Hard to tell, because it's listed NOW as October 11th. Go figure!! So, THIS was technically written BEFORE. Okay? Everyone caught up? Yay.]]



Oh no. Background alpha. Okay, hold a tic...

So, straight out of the box, the "Lucent" Ribboned horns, in Standard. Biiiig antlers.

Don't get me wrong, they're impressive as they are, but they feel like my skull would cave in. So, a little bit of Y, a little bit of overall shrinkage...



Ah. Okay, that's....wait. The eyebrows have gone weird...



NOT EYEBROWS. I'm dim. That's the protruding bone ridge in front. Wild.



(This is also called, the backgrounds will shift back and forth because Em Cannot Decide Things...)

This isn't going to be my usual deep dive--I'll get a good capture of the HUD, because there are a LOT of options--because this is only half the set. There's also a PBR version.



And same thing, right out of the box, save for that odd, pearlescent coloration that--at least for me--looks the same on EVERYTHING that's PBR.

Find then on the wall here for L$500!

I go fall down nao.

it's just your shadow on the floor

(This section was written on July 11th...)

Great. Sat myself down today after oversleeping, and told myself sternly I was not going to log into SL until I did at least one of two things:

1. I get the blog template fixed; or
2. I finish coding the Lucent horns entry.

(Ended up never finishing either one and logged in anyway...but the below few frustrating days did NOT help, to be sure.)

And guess what happened? I learned imgbb was BROKEN!!

Won't deliver any linking codes, and I can work with a lot, gang, but if I can't even get the direct image links to code by hand, I'm dead. Dead dead.



(Which I had to upload using a NEW linking service and just MORE OF ALL THE WHY--)

So, hey, how about some links while I wait? Scientists have discovered a way to recreate Egyptian blue pigment.

And this drummer is so amazing, I had to look him up. He's Timothy Fletcher_ on TikTok. Just phenomenal.

And I think her name's WhyJordie on both TikTok and YouTube, but she has a semi-crippling (and real) set of phobias, among them thassalophobia (fear of the deep sea and creatures therein), megalophobia (fear of large structures anywhere, above or below water), automatonophobia (fear of animatronics, or it can also cover statues and mannequins), and let's not forget her deep, abiding terror regarding submechanophobia (fear of submerged anything, but traditionally large sunken ships, buildings, or flightcraft), and she's added the quirk of also being traumatized by large ship chains, and large ship propellers).

I seriously don't have space to link everything. Thing is, she is a deeply terrified person, this is true--but she's also a fan of horror, and likes being afraid. (Totally get that, it's why I specifically pay for a monthly Shudder subscription.) She's engaging to watch, funny, witty--there can be worse things than someone virtually holding your hand while you both freak out at a shared visual.

(And that's as far as I got before leaving in in drafts f o r e e e v e r r r ...Oh, and let's not forget yesterday's joy, on the first of Septus '25, illustrated below:



(So yeah. Apologies for worrying m'friends [and loves] over the past, uh...FIVE MONTHS?!??...I'm working on it.)

(And the blog template's still not fixed. I may give up.)

but the railroad track will bring me back when the lonesome whistle cries

[[Insert, belatedly, from the Editrix: I'm getting there.]]



I TOLD myself, I was not going to leave without blogging SOMETHING, because dear gods...February?! Was the last time I did??

Ignoring the eight unposted drafts, I may post them, I may not, they weren't "official"... whatevers...

Then THREE DAYS WENT BY...



So I told myself I was going to run all the shots so I could work on it offline! And...I spent the next two days largely unconscious. I....I Hate. This. Brain thing. SO much.

But okay. Okay okay fine, it's only been nearly a week, I'm still on...some kind...of track...and now I have pictures!

.........

And from two to now (7:26 pm PST), I have just been editing pictures. And they're calling me off for dinner.

I....I Hate. This. Brain thing. SO. Much.



HEY GUESS HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO FIX THE BLOG GUYS
GIVE ANOTHER TWO WEEKS *AT LEAST* TO FIGURING OUT THIS IMAGE WAS MISSING
DID I MENTION I HATE MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW?!

So expect a full review. Soon. At, uh...some point.



Also I really need to figure out what to do with the now four staggered half-complete builds floating over Cardew that were meant to be a new store....

AND THE BLOG CODE IS STILL BROKEN....

It...it...yeah. I'll get there. At some point.

do you hear the people sing?

Happy Buy Nothing from Billionaires Day.

now I know you need the dark just as much as the sun (part four)

(And continuing...from part three...)

[[Note from the Editrix pre-publishing--Em has totally lost the plot and has been sitting on these last two trying to find the pics, so she is now GIVING UP and providing two pics from Radio Free Darkmere's Christmas set at the Slippy Ship.]]



While pondering the sweater-dress selections at LeiMotiv, and listening to Sunday (1994) (Yes, that does seem to be the band's name.)



Pondering yet more winter candy sets from Simply Shelby, and listening to AURORA.

I look so irritated in these last two. Ah, well. Merry Crisis after all.



Might have maybe been getting overtired...



[[And have a couple extra pictures because I was so frustrated that I lost two entire links, I forgot what I was editing for.]]

All I know is, it's been a long, dark night, but hyperfocus--plus egg nog, Firefly episodes, fig-and-pecan topped Brie and coffee--saw us to the dawn. The sun has returned for another year. Happy Solstice.

now I know you need the dark just as much as the sun (part three)

(Continued from part two!)



[[Look it's almost four am in the morning on the 24th because I wanted to get these OUT already and your Editrix is FRIGGING TIRED and somehow your Editrix's non-working brain--that's not even self-deprecation at this point, it is BROKEN and I am having to work around SO MUCH just to stand upright--where the hell was I going with this...Damn it SEE that's what I'm talking about--I THINK this was LeiMotiv but it might have been Fancy Dancer and either way I'm missing BOTH store links AND the oh-so-precious soundtrack mention and AAAAGH! I will find it tomorrow, I swear, but this is Fancy Dancer...or LeiMotiv...or somewhere else GAAAAAAH--]]





While at Pearl Fashion, saw sparkly presents and forgot why I was there (SEEE??), and started running around crystal-hunting. ALYK was playing in the background.



Pondering pretty holiday dining chairs at LouChara while The Hellfreaks play in the background.



While at BlueMoon Enterprises, picking up a festive green silk tea gown, and listening to IMPERIAL AGE. (There are also two padded, painted fabric pumpkin trio freebies out, but I don't know how long they'll be there!)



And I was trying valiantly to restrain myself at LOVE, listening to Paris Paloma.

And we lurch onto part FOUR...because REASONS...

...but before we go, listen: I know I say I love the VaeV items I've blogged, and I do, but--and I'm saying this from the perspective of it being now, when I'm typing this bit, the 25ths, I have been wearing this thing for five days. I have literally changed to six or seven saved avatars, and a couple just piecemeal-making from folders, for five days. It's big, it's heavy, it doesn't work with everything...and I do not care. I love it. I love it so much.

So if you want one of your own? Skip on over to the Warehouse Sale and find the /Vae Victis\ booth.

NOW over to part four!

now I know you need the dark just as much as the sun (part two)

(Continuing from part one.)

So I learned something tonight--the sim Madame Noir is on disallows flight. Not a huge deal, just meant I couldn't take a pic next to Grim's runed monolith. (And yes, I don't care how often Blogger tells me I meant "ruined", no--I meant "runed".)



It was fine, though. I checked the position of the giant spider--thankfully, half a field away--so this was snapped after wandering the sales wall at Madame Noir and listening to CLAN OF XYMOX. (Didn't even know they were still together, but that's a new song! Or new to me, anyway.)



While debating between mirrors at Kiu, and listening to Grace Power.

[[Could not track down the shot I took at Kiu--no idea why. So I just shifted to the first "wintery" avatar I had saved.]]



While buying the string lights at Moon Amore, and listening to Tabitha Raines.

[[Note from Editrix, pre-publication: Could not track down, for the life of me, the picture I took from Moon Amore, either. Maybe I didn't? So, quick-change to something else, flip on the halo, and go. For all that it matters, I was listening to Sub Urban's "Cradles" and Madeline Goldstein's "1996 Expectations" while lining up the shot and then editing it into frame.

[[Oh! And I should also add--this image from Moon Amore features the HUD. I have zero idea if I've shown off all the combinations. There are seven options each for the disk (barely seen in most of these shots, behind my hair). the arch (I believe that's the main portion the blades and spires link to?), the quasi-Gothic architectural star, the spikes on the inner circle that rotate, and the blades (the flat daggers that are seen behind the trio of spires). Then the spires--the typical seven options of the rest, then eight additional jewel tones.

[[If I have any complaint, it's there--I'm not able to change all the parts to vibrant colors. But this is the most minor of quibbles--there are still a dizzying number of combinations!]]



While contemplating if Gearhaven needs a giant severed bunny head at NOMAD, and listening to Snow Wife.



While checking Moonlight Shadow's...uh...forest??..horns?? Those, um...don't look like tree roots...and listening to ILUKA.

And...that brings us to another five pictures, so off to part three!

now I know you need the dark just as much as the sun (part one)

There is a touch of sadness this Solstice. Casey Chaos has passed away at the age of 59.

I don't know if that's going to ring bells for anyone. I can tell you one of my favorite songs of his last band, AMEN, was "California's Bleeding". And wandering around YouTube after I heard, I found this lovely compilation video--not just Chaos fronting for SCUM, but also a clip of Kerrang's Hall of Fame awards celebration, which had Chaos introducing the recipient that year, Iggy Pop. Dear gods, that was seventeen years ago...

So, while I'm in the middle of figuring out how I want to blog six or seven previous /Vae Victis\ products, and realizing that since Grim made the "Krampusnacht" Caged bell for MadPea's Advent calendar (that was...day fourteen? I think?), he drops yet another thing coming up for the Warehouse Sale.



But hey, guess what I found at Belle Epoque for the Saturday Sale? Janire holding the Krampusnacht Bell from MadPea's Advent calendar. (I think they were day 14? That's another thing I haven't unpacked yet...)

To wit: The "Elohim" Bladed Halo.

So, what the hell, I took it shopping.



While listening to Sub Urban and pondering the sales wall at Candy Kitten.



While checking to see if I had the hairs on sale at Doe and listening to Jax.



While perusing the sales wall of .epoch.--dangerous, dangerous store--and listening to Lilith Max.



While trying to decide between the goth elf and the pine elf at Kiu, and listening [[I am wrong! Leaving the picture as is, but that was actually Atelier, not Kiu! I blame the hazy blur of Solstice-ing, but I do apologize.]]
>br /> And since I took a lot of pictures, we'll move on to part two!